Moderation Please?

I stood outside, taking a drag out of my cigarette dispelling a plume of smoke when "someone" told me something I could not fathom. My friend who was standing next to me wearing a shirt two sizes too small to show off his rippling biceps, turned to me and cocked a small smile as we held our breaths trying not to bust out in hysteria.

Now what was the comment, what forced me to hide my emotions. Well here is the scenario: We stood outside myself, the body, and the man whose comment was heard round the world. The body who is currently coupled, mouthed off and told us: "You guys are single, You need to liven things up." I was still holding my cigarette in my mouth thinking of what dig I could spout as I respond to him impugning my game. This is when my friend spoke up without hesitation and proclaimed "I get too much ass as it is."

The body and I waited and waited until our friend walked away as we combusted in laughter. A man, yes a man, says he is having too much sex. I never knew there was such a thing for a man. Now I submit to you, I understand women tiring of sex, I could not imagine getting jack hammered all night every night and then subsequently having to fake it, that can be tasking. However, for a man, if he has the energy to take care of himself every day, why wouldn't a man be thankful to have a playing partner instead of playing solo.

Our friend H.C. Slizzy who could not believe this was said, stated appropriately the moment he learned of the comment: "That's impossible, it would be like me saying I get too much head, it's just not possible."

Now economically speaking per the law of diminishing returns, each time you have sex after the first time it will not return the same amount of pleasure as the first time; however, even if it's the thousandth time, YOU ARE STILL GETTING LAID!

There is a multi-billion dollar porn industry, men empty out their savings account paying women for sex yet my friend was just plain tired of getting ass. I guess I will have him call into Howard Stern and let Stern know he will have to retire, as he is the start of the fall of man.