Disturbia Burbia

My time out here in the burbia has allowed me to notice the radical differences in lifestyle from the city. I am no longer attached to my phone waiting for the last second text message stating "lets get ripped" throwing on my expensive jeans, black shoes and Ferragamo belt venturing to some bar and blacking out. Instead I sit next to my friend in my boxers, scratch my balls and watch reruns of Entourage all night watching a life I wish I had, even if it were as the second coming of Turtle.

Snails pace are the proper words to explain suburban lifestyle. I am in no way knocking it, it's just not for this high paced hipster who spends his nights scouring for loose tail. The irony is that inevitably especially in this city, as we get married and have kids, the suburbs end up calling us all and we fight vehemently before we succumb to our dull fates. I can't see myself in a mommie mobile looking at MILFs who have begun to let themselves go and things are starting to hit the floor. At least in the city the MILFs hit the gym quite often or the plastic surgeons office and stay in rare certifiable form.

The other thing that is quite evident is the food. If one loves fast food: taco bell, Wendy's, McDonald's, and if you are really in mood for a fancy night on the town, Golden Corral, the suburbs is the place for you. My friend who I am living with loves to eat a ham sandwich with cheese topped off with a combination of bbq sauce, mustard, and mayonnaise (yes he says the combination of condiments is good, though I will never try it). While he considers that fine dining, I could not imagine ending every night with a ham sandwich. For me I love going to the BYOB sushi restaurant where the waitresses don't speak any English, but if you say Ni Hao Ma, the dinner will be topped off with a happy ending.

For at least this week I am back in the city that made me, wandering the streets as a nomadic drinker, living the life I once had. Can you smell it? I can, the smell of week old bum standing at the street corner pestering you for change, ah what a life?