For your consideration

I spent this last weekend, working hard for the affections of a woman who I have been subtly gaming for two years. Subtly, because the woman in question was in a relationship during this time, and I as a business man, and an optimist I was long on the stock, invested early and looking to cash in. I waited and I waited, until this woman finally dropped the alleged boyfriend who was thousands of miles away. In return for my patience all I asked was for her consideration, a date, a drink, and possibly more. Was that too much to ask for? Patience is a virtue, or so I thought.

Instead I found myself at Martini Park three sheets to the wind, fending off another man. I use the word man very loosely for this guy because he was an utter disgrace to our male species. This guy was the pure definition of tool. Well actually this guy was such a tool in fact, that Webster's would need to redefine the word tool to encapsulate all of the quintessential tool qualities this "man" encompasses. While I do not name names here on this blog, this guys name sounded like A-shit, which was appropriate as shit would appropriately describes this guys personality and the grotesque mole growing on his face.

Now in the game of woman, competition is always a peril of the market. One must be cautious of the wily gamers who will swoop in and eliminate all of your hard work. Despite, that I never look down on competition, it forces us to be the best of ourselves in order to close those that we desire. However, this guy was no competition, he was a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a blindfold. This guy didn't even deserve to carry my left nut; however, he destroyed me as he convulsed on the dance floor like a crack baby whose mother failed to abort him.

I was not just astonished, I was paralyzed by shock as she turned to me and whispered "I like the guy to your right." I paused for a moment doing a double take making sure I heard her clearly and understood what she was stating. I simply replied "Why would you tell me that, because I like the girl on my left," bluntly pointing out that I was into her. She quickly replied with the one response that shrivels any mans testes "but we're just friends right," as she strutted towards my so called competition.

My disgust was obvious and I bolted out of the bar, without a word in any one's direction that I would be exiting the premises.

In this world today, and as an unemployed man whose fighting just to stay a float as jobs slowly shrivel away, I take solace in the hunt and hope for a good woman. While I was annoyed that at the turn of events, I also find it ironically hysterical. This woman who I had held in high regards, ACTUALLY found this guy not only attractive, but would consider letting him inside her both body and soul. How could I ever have been attracted to such a blind fool? I guess I have to take my lumps just as everyone else and learn a valuable lesson. Patience is a virtue, especially if your virtue is to get played.