Porter's Five Forces

Note:
I have been struggling with a little writer's block and have been working on 4 posts. This is an old post that I was not going to post due to objections. I removed the people who had objections out of the post and edited to the point where it did not mention any one who may get offended. This post is from 2 weekends ago. In all honestly I do not think this is my best work, but I needed to give my readers something as I battle my case of writers block. I hope this suffices.

Porter's Five Forces

This was the weekend of the "competition" Ryder cup of gaming where we would have learned who really was the "master of his domain." This weekend was filled with anticipation and hype all for nothing. So here was the game and how it would have been scored:

A panel of pre-chosen judges would give a girl a score 1-10 depending on the girl's physical appearance. After which, the gamers would go out and close. This would be known as the multiplier. However many bases the player rounds would be the multiplier score, i.e. if the gamer found a girl who was rated a 5 and hit a home run (4 bases) 5*4 would give that player 20 points.

This weekend was especially exciting because many gamers across this great country had come in to participate in the competition; each competitor choose a wing man and this was going to be a match play event. After all of this thought and excitement this event floundered into oblivion.

Despite that slow start to the weekend, I found myself winging for two of my friends and "allies" inside my own circle of friends to help them "enjoy" their night. As I worked as the wing man I applied a little business principal to make sure I understood the gaming environment and guaranteeing success. So what are the principals:

Barriers to Entry:
Every woman has a initial entry point. How many bases a women will allow any man to clear after first meeting someone. This is proportional to the amount of drinks a woman has consumed, a rough formula for an average girl (3 drinks per each base). Too often men are looking for magic keys to the pantie vault, simply put ALCOHOL.

Competition:
This is the most prevalent threat to any gamer. Competition is usually identified quickly especially in the bar as any guy who has a functional cock and are the easily identified and dismissed. The more difficult competitors are the people inside your own circle. The "friends" either male of female. While I am true believer that men and women can never truly be friends due to sexual tensions one must be wary of other male friends in the circle. As booze begin to flow, morals begin to drift out the window and its every man for themselves.

Also, don't forget about the female friends who either are coupled or not nearly as attractive as the target, they love to pull the target away with foolish notions like they are tired. This is when a wing man is important to either distract the male friend with shots, or grenade hop the "questionable" girl. Never fun but always important.

Supplier Power:
Depending on the circles we roll in, the balance of male to female ratio is not only important to get into the bar, but also important to the extracurricular activities after the bar. Too often we roll out with the ratio heavily weighed down with too many men. Its like putting meat in front of hungry dogs, it doesn't matter if its sirloin or ground chuck, once there is blood in the air all bets are off. In this case the ratio was not in my favor as it was a 9:1 ratio so I had to fend off 9 hungry males so my "ally" would have an opportunity to close.

Customer Power:
Picky Picky Picky, people have always claimed with good reason that my standards are too high. Every gamer is a customer at a buffet and the golden rule is to never get between a black man and a buffet. Usually all of us go out to the posh dining spots as we are looking to dine on caviar, but inevitable we find ourselves scarfing fried chicken and collard greens, also known as the resident ladies at the Hunt Club. Our flexibility is solely reliant on desperation and inebriation. Every man has found himself rolling over to either a behemoth that needs a fork lift or a beast that needs a paper bag. As customers we are very reactionary to market conditions, the earlier the night (bull market) we wine and dine, later the night (bear market) we shop with coupons at the local Wallyworld (Walmart).

Threat of Substitutes:
This at times can be the most destructive of the forces out there. Too often men either get complacent or too drunk to finish things off. They get caught up with ideas of late night omelette's or even worse, self-reliance as the relieve themselves and pass out satisfied in laying an egg.

In the end we must all analyze the market conditions, focus, and close. Finally, for those wing men out there, like myself that night, its a team game lay the ball on the rim, and hope your partner is not a functional retard that can't close the deal. Now I hope my ally will return the favor, one can only hope.